Your life is breaking down, and even the simplest daily tasks feel like more than you can carry. You are making it through each day, yet some part of you wants relief because it feels like you can’t take one more thing.
Maybe the trigger was a death, an illness, a divorce, or a natural disaster. Or maybe it was something that looks like good news from the outside, like getting married, having a baby, or buying a house. Either way, one chapter is ending, the identity you knew yourself by is dying, and no one gave you a map for that.
I want you to leave this post understanding that what you are in has a name, that it is a rite of passage rather than a malfunction, and that you can be held through it instead of bracing against it.
What a Dark Night of the Soul Actually Is
A Dark Night of the Soul is an experience so deeply life changing that it pushes you far beyond what you think you can handle, often many times, with multiple ego deaths and a letting go of your identity. It literally breaks down the life you are living, or were living, so that you can have a whole new experience of yourself.
Most people picture the hard events: the death of a loved one, illness, divorce, a natural disaster. I want to widen that. Moments like getting married, having a baby, and buying a house can also be initiations that create Dark Night of the Soul type experiences. If your life looks great on paper and you still feel like you are coming apart, this may be what is happening.
Why Your Mind Can’t Make Sense of It
Your mind is designed to keep you in what is safe and familiar. A breakdown of your identity is the opposite of that, which is why your mind can’t understand it or relate to it. Part of being in earth school is remembering who you are on a soul level and connecting the infinite power of your being into your human body and your human experience. That is a lot for a mind built for safety to hold.
Why It Is So Hard Without Support
Most people in our culture haven’t had initiations or rites of passage built into their lives. So these portals of transformation are harder, because you are walking through them without the tools and resources to support you. When one chapter is ending, an identity and your way of knowing yourself is dying, which means you are in a process of dying while you are still living.
As a culture, we are not great at handling death, and a Dark Night of the Soul asks even more of us, because it is an identity and ego death passage that happens while we are still here. I find that mind bending. I also believe that all of humanity has gone through a Dark Night of the Soul in the last few years, and that we are creating a new experience of being human here and now.
The Pressure Is Doing Something
The intensity on planet earth is increasing, and a diamond is created by enormous pressure coming from all sides. The same is happening to your soul, your body, your mind, and your psyche.
The tough lessons that feel like too much, the ones where you can’t take one more thing or survive another day, are crystallizing the diamond strength of truth within you. They are streamlining your power, your ability to choose how and when to engage, what to fight, and what to let go of. These are soul lessons or soul assignments that we have chosen to learn in incredibly challenging ways, so the first thing I ask of you is to be incredibly gentle and compassionate with yourself.
What Surrender Means Here
Surrender in a Dark Night of the Soul does not mean thinking positive thoughts. It does not mean trying to manifest something different or get on a different timeline, and it does not mean creating future outcomes. The invitation is to let go even more, of the storyline you thought you were living, and to be held in the emptiness and the unknown.
It is so challenging to fully let go, to not grasp onto anything or anyone or any sense of right or wrong, any sense of justice. Your soul goes deeper than that. It cares more about who you are than what anybody thinks, and it doesn’t care about your comfort or how things look from the outside.
The Beast You Are Fighting Is You
Going this deep means being willing to go into the dark side of humanity, the dark side that lives within each of us. When we come face to face with the beast in that place of emptiness, where every single thing is stripped away and we stand there naked with nothing, we discover it doesn’t have any power over us. We discover that it is us. You are what you have been fighting against and resisting.
Finding the beauty in your life means going to the depths of fear, resistance, and dysfunctional power dynamics, and discovering the power that has been stuck there.
Your Infinite Self Can Land in Your Human Body
The power you find there belongs to the infinite creatrix that you are. She is clear, confident, and unwavering from the truth of her soul, she creates and destroys, and she receives and releases with each breath. Literally nothing can stop her.
Your human body is learning to hold her through the tests you are facing. When she lands comfortably in your body, there is no more struggle, no more fight, and no need for electric lightning bolts of energy. You feel more integrated, whole, and clear, and you feel in your cells, your bones, and your blood that you can, will, and do navigate this human life with grace, power, alignment, and love. There may still be some edges to smooth out, and your system is better able to hold your infinity than before.
Your Practice Going Forward
I invite you to listen to the guidance that doesn’t make any sense to anyone else. It often doesn’t make sense to you either. You are on the lightning path, and you have navigated intensity in this life that other people can’t even imagine.
Be as gentle, loving, and kind to your human self as you can, and build a support system for every level of your body, mind, and being. Stay open to the helpers, guides, and offers of support that are right there for you. Your team is coming close from the spirit realm, from the outer edges of the galaxy, and from the human, animal, mineral, and plant realms to help you hold your infinite power in your human body.
One Woman’s Story
One of the women I work with was in the middle of an identity death, and her life had unraveled in radical ways. She could no longer deny her spiritual intuitive gifts, even though that went against everything she had been trained to do: people please, accommodate, and keep the peace. With every option removed, the only path left was being true to her soul, speaking her truth, and embodying her legacy, even if she looked completely out of her mind to everyone else. The first time she said no and meant it, a jolt of life energy surged through her body, and as she learned to claim, ask for, receive, and enjoy her desires, she went from walking on eggshells to owning her power, her agency, and her authority to create the life she truly desired, which lit her up and turned her on in ways she didn’t know were available.
Her story is what listening to guidance that doesn’t make sense to anyone else looks like in a real life, and it is why I say the collapse is not the end of the story.
What You’ll Receive
- The felt sense of being held while who you have been falls away
- Permission to stop creating future outcomes, forcing positive thoughts, or trying to get on a different timeline
- The recognition that what you have been fighting is you, and that it has no power over you
- Your infinite self landing in your human body, so you feel integrated, whole, and clear
- Permission to follow guidance that doesn’t make sense to anyone else, including you
- The reminder that a whole team of support is close and ready to help you hold your power
Questions to Sit With
- Which chapter of my life is ending right now, and which identity is dying with it?
- Where am I trying to manifest a different timeline instead of letting myself be held in the unknown?
- What guidance have I been receiving that makes no sense to anyone else, including me?
- What am I fighting or resisting that might actually be me?
- What would being incredibly gentle with myself look like this week, and what support do I need at every level of my body, mind, and being?
- Which helpers or offers of support am I not yet open to receiving?
Sitting With It
If your life is coming apart and daily tasks feel insurmountable, I wonder what changes if you stop asking how to get out of it and start asking what is being crystallized in you. When the identity you were living is gone, who is the one still here, and what is she asking you to listen to?
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
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HYPNOSIS RECODE INVITATION:
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