Let’s play in the deep end with a shadow integration practice called: Love the Heart of Fear. What does the heart of fear mean? Is it possible to love fear?
I’m Christel Arcucci, you’re listening to the Mystic Body Show This episode is going to start with the real life challenges I am facing instead of the past episodes that focused on core elements of what I teach my clients.
A quick note before we dive in — the first section of this episode originally published back in 2021, during wildfire season in when I still lived in Northern California, after evacuating because of a wildfire.
Early July 2026, a wildfire started near my home in Sedona — and it brought me right back to this teaching and guidance landed that has helped me tremendously that I want to share.
2016 the wildfires in California started impacting my friends, places I love and communities *VERY* near me. In late summer of 2020 after 4 years of this intense stress combined with dangerous air quality and the pandemic felt like hell. I swore to myself I wouldn’t and couldn’t stay through another fire season in California.
When I arrive home on I was already in fight or flight stress response. I’m grateful I made it home before the roads closed or the fire reached my home yet feeling overwhelmed about what to take, where to go or what to do next.
The FB video on Tuesday had given me a transmission of love for the fear that is now coursing through my heart and flooding my system with stress hormones. Reminder to pay attention to all the signs and resources you are offered to you even if they don’t make sense in the moment.
Now you see why this episode is focused on loving the heart of your fear and why I am weeks late in delivering this. In the last 5 weeks there have been 3 wildfires that threatened my home.
As you know I get off on befriending my shadows, loving my shame, loving my fear, and getting in there and being with those parts that I wish didn’t exist. It would be easier if life was just unicorns, rainbows and wildflowers right?
Earth School is the shadow integration masters program that you may have realized you signed up for yet cannot escape…. So let’s make this wild ride more enjoyable.
All kinds of protection mechanisms and survival strategies keep you from looking at your fears, help you avoid feeling pain sadness, grief, shame even desire or sexual arousal.
Your brain is wired to survive. To try to keep you away from what you fear in order to keep you safe in what is known and familiar.
Your journey of awakening who you are and your purpose is rooted in being able to embrace your full human experience and your ability to accept and even love yourself.
You can say all day, “I love myself I love myself I love myself I love myself.”
And there’s a part of your brain saying, “Yeah, but what about the horrible thing you did. What about that like horrible thing you said? What about swearing at the person that didn’t use their turn signal? Or what about when you were five? You are bad and wrong so you can’t LOVE THAT!”
It’s easy to love the pretty parts of yourself, easier anyway.
It’s harder to love the undesirable things about yourself, to love the bad things that you’ve said and done.
Dominant culture decides what is good or bad, right or wrong, acceptable or forbidden.
I’m exploring embracing my shadow, befriending the skeletons in my closet, rather than trying to pretend they’re not there, I invite them for tea.
It takes an enormous amount of courage to acknowledge and accept your shadow, let’s be real.
Shadow integration isn’t a casual thing you take up one day and it’s all grand and rosy with your skeletons carefully coming down out of the closet and sit at the table with you, they will likely throw shit and will likely be really mean at first.
So… is loving the heart of fear possible and why am I talking about it?
It’s an important part of your journey of healing and a central way to love those horrible parts of yourself.
This shadow integration practice doesn’t condone bad behavior or abuse from yourself or anyone else, but it is about loving the wounded parts of yourself and the collective. When you can do this inside yourself you’ll be better able to engage with the shadow aspects of others.
The heart is the softest most vulnerable, innocent and tender core element of everyone. When you turn into that truth it’s easier to imagine the possibility of loving the heart of anything that you most want to avoid or fear.
Start this practice by being willing to admit and be with your fear, doubt, shame, sadness, grief, addiction, victim, perpetrator, rescues etc.
All the parts of yourself that you wish didn’t exist and also the behaviors and traits which trigger you in others.
Acknowledge the shadows exists and be with them. “I see you”
Invite them into your journaling practice, meditation or mindful movement practice rather than pushing them away. “I feel you.”
The next level is to love your shadows.
Love the heart of your fear.
Love the heart of your deepest, darkest, scariest parts…the ones that you if could, you would throw them out of the universe. “I love you.”
I’ve discovered the heart of fear is where so much power lives. I will even go so far as to say unlimited power lives.
Tap into that power to be more aligned, on purpose and connected to who you are and what you’re really here to do.
The more that you run from fear, the more you run from being yourself. Is that’s a game you want to play?
Playing hide and seek with the infinite power of your soul is why you decided to become human, it’s so fun!
This is demonstrated in the 5 Acts (or Powers) of Shiva. The ability to create, maintain, destroy, conceal and reveal.
The game of playing hide and seek with each other and yourself is a fun game when you’re young… do you still the divine play now? Especially with the intensity of what’s happening in 2021 for example?
Although the way that adults most often play hide and seek is unconscious and full of shadow material most often we don’t even realize what and who you are hiding from.
Lila is a Sanskrit word that means Divine Play and is a powerful tool to help remind you of the conscious game of hide and seek that you decided to become human and “forget” that you are infinite intelligence.
Using your life force energy to hide who you really are and what you think is exhausting and painful, and can lead to illness, depression, anxiety and suppressed immune function.
I invite you today, at whatever level you’re ready is to turn towards your fear.
Name fear.
Be with fear.
Befriend fear.
Love the heart of fear.
Look fear in the eye and really be with what is there. Be willing to stay in the intensity and see what opens for you.
Im my practice of loving the heart of fear I like to practice this while eye gazing in the mirror. After a few breaths to drop in, it doesn’t take long before there’s a massive shift. As I’m able to feel the resistance to fear, the fear softens and opens. The resistance to feeling fear which is most often a desire to control in order to feel safe.
Resistance, the desire to push away or get away from takes so much energy.
With the practice of simply being with fear, being with doubts, demons, shadows or skeletons unlocks so many resources and power.
Loving the heart of what you what to avoid or destroy changes everything and changes it quickly.
Where are you in your journey of loving your fear, shadow and what you wish didn’t exist within you, others or the collective?
Be willing to be with your fear, love the heart of that what scares you most.
Love the heart of the most horrible things you’ve done in your life, love the horrible thoughts and you learn to love life itself, all of it.
I still often want life to be easy, playful, abundant and full of all my favorite things and the reality is that life on earth is the expression of spectrum of all possibilities and experiences.
My practice is anchoring myself in the moment with breath, mindfulness, and movement practices and then remember the divine play of life on earth, that humanity is actively co-creating this experience.
Love your shadow, it liberates you from struggling again what is and trying to control the uncontrollable.
Your shadows will act out when you try to get rid of them or repress them… the shadow will create trouble.
Love your shadows, shame, anger, rage, sadness as much as you can.
Be willing to turn towards, look in the eyes of the parts of yourself that you wish weren’t there, and love all parts of yourself. When you’re able to do that, then things will change in the outer world.
It’s so easy to run from the hard and ugly stuff. Oh, just keep yourself busy and do to anything to avoid looking at or being with fear.
Turn towards fear.
Be with anger.
Embrace sadness.
Sit with rage.
Love the heart of fear.
To the healing that is possible and the transformation that is available… love your heart, and love what you fear most.
January 7th, 2025. I was flooded with fear and flashbacks to the California fires, years after I’d left. I didn’t know why and for hours, it consumed my energy, my attention, before I understood what was happening.
Then I got online and saw it: massive wildfires breaking out across Los Angeles. I was safe in Sedona. But my body had already reached across the distance and started processing before my mind had any evidence caught up.
Fast forward to July 2026, two weeks into the Pocket wildfire burning less than five miles from my home in Sedona.
Tonight, I hiked near Airport Mesa and the sky was empty. No tourist helicopters, no small planes coming in for a landing The airspace is closed because of the wildfire. Just the water helicopters, and even those stopped once the sun started dropping.
At first, the quiet freaked me out a little. I kept checking behind me like, “Is someone there? What is that?” My nervous system didn’t know what to do with that much silence, Sedona is never this quiet.
Then it landed. My whole system exhaled. I get out to move and hike every day, I always receive downloads and wisdom, but this was different. This was deeper. Fewer visitors in town, less noise in the air And I could feel the difference energetically, not just the lack of noise.
There was less energetic noise, less noise in the psychic space And then I looked up and saw actual flames on the ridge, not just the smoke I’d been watching for days.
Flames, 25,000 acres and still not fully contained. The town feels calm. My body feels calm. and there is this tragic fire tearing through the land I love right now while I feel this deeply connected to the land and the elements.
I was moved and received embodied guidance that was so clear In 2020, I was leaving California because I couldn’t do another fire season combined with the pandemic. I was processing the fear after driving home , in fight or flight, evacuating, and only being able to metabolize what happens once the smoke cleared, once I was safe, once I had distance from it.
This time, I was standing on a ridge watching actual flames while the practice I taught you 10 years ago was happening in real time inside an active fire. Not, “Here’s what I learned once I got safe.” Here’s what’s available while it’s still burning. And this distinction matters more than it used to because fire seasons aren’t giving us that distance anymore.
Twenty-five thousand acres and still not contained isn’t a one-off event. If you’ve watched the pattern I have, not just with wildfires, for me it was 2016, 2020, 2025, and now this.
You already know the after keeps getting harder to find. The fires are more frequent, more intense, closer together. At some point, you can’t wait for the smoke to clear to do your healing work because smoke doesn’t clear like it used to because there’s less pause, there’s less quiet in between the chaos.
So the question isn’t just, how do I love the heart of my fear? It’s, can I do it now inside the emergency, in the middle of the thing, without a tidy ending, without knowing what any of it means and where it’s going?
That night on the trail, my body found calm inside an active fire, not despite of it, inside it and it’s different than what I taught before.
Before it was feel the fear, then find your way back to peace. This was peace and fear, at the same time, in the same body, right now.
That’s what I’m changing. There are these moments when I don’t know what to do, when the smoke fills the sky, when another wildfire grows beyond what’s even imaginable, when the headlines become numbers that are too large for the human heart to hold.
Today, I noticed myself receiving something different. Not more information, not outrage, not more fear. I found myself offering Reiki to the land, the animals, the elements, the firefighters, the emergency crews.
Offering to the Earth herself. not because I believe I can control a wildfire, but I refuse to believe that helplessness is the only response available to me. As I sat with the land, breathing deep, offering healing energy, Ho’oponopono started repeating in my mind the Hawaiian prayer, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.”
Offering the prayer to the fire itself. “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” It wasn’t directed at any one person. it felt like a conversation with the Earth itself.
A remembrance, that our relationship with nature has been deeply fractured. Fire is not the enemy. Fire has always belonged to this planet and to nature.
What feels out of balance is our relationship with the living world. The speed, the extraction, the forgetting that we are part of nature. We are nature, not separate from it.
So instead of giving myself entirely to the timeline of fear, I found myself turning toward another possibility, a future where humanity remembers, where forests are tended to with wisdom, where communities are built with the rhythm of nature instead of against them, where technology and nature become partners instead of competitors, where restoration becomes more contagious than destruction.
I know that every future that once seemed impossible begins with someone is willing to imagine before it exists and starts putting energy, effort, and attention to building that future.
Today, this is the future I’m choosing to hold, not as a denial of what is happening, but as devotion to the future I am creating, and I hope you will join me.
Thank you for being here, it’s a pleasure to walk the soul purpose path with you.
If today’s episode resonated and you’re interested in learning Reiki energy healing for personal or professional practice. My training and attunements are very affordable, because I want as many people as possible to have access to this beautiful healing modality. Visit https://ReikiHealerTraining.com
I believe in you and the magic power of your soul.
I am sending you so much love!