Self Acceptance for the Inner Critic Who Says You Need to Be Better
There is a part of you that points out every flaw. It tells you how you need to be better, do better, and improve. It says that who you are and what you’re doing right now is unacceptable, and sometimes the words it uses are unkind in a way you would never be with someone you love.
I built this hypnosis journey around that voice. By the end of this post, I want you to see it differently, to see what it looks like to be on your own team, and to know where to go inside yourself when you need to feel accepted, flaws and all.
Why I take you to a garden to talk about flaws
In the journey, you open a pair of metal double gates with vines growing through them and step into a sacred garden. Everything there is alive, and nothing is perfect. Some flowers are early buds, some are opening, and some are fully open and welcoming the bees and the hummingbirds. Some are past their prime, with petals beginning to fall back to the earth.
Around the base of the plants there is compost, and that compost is fueling the health of the vibrant flowers. One ancient tree has limbs that are no longer alive right beside leaves that are fully open to the sun. Branches have fallen at its base, and they feed the garden as they decompose.
I want you to notice what is missing from this scene. There isn’t a phase where a flower says, “No, I don’t want to be this young, or this old, or to decompose and become compost again.” The plants, the birds, and the bees embrace the state of being right where they are. That is the contrast to the impossible standards we sometimes hold for ourselves.
The magical mirror
Beside the tree, there is a magical mirror. When you look into it, you don’t see yourself as you are. You see the part of you that is so unkind, pointing out every flaw and telling you that what you’re doing now is not enough.
The moment I care about most comes next. You recognize that this is not how you want to treat yourself. You want to be on your own team, peaceful in the present moment and enjoying who you are.
In the mirror, you begin to see scenes of what that looks like:
- Cheering for yourself
- Holding your own hand in times of challenge
- Offering supportive words when you’re feeling down
- Allowing space for you to be, so that when you feel down, you become a safe place to say how you feel
The question that changed how a client spoke to herself
A client’s inner dialogue was extremely harsh and mean. I asked her if she would ever speak to her young daughter that way. She started crying and said, “No way. No one can speak to her that way.”
Her practice became treating herself with the same love, kindness, and protection she gave her daughter. It was challenging to look at the destructive way she was speaking to herself. She was courageous, and she made the changes to become a safe space and champion for herself.
Emotions are compost
The garden gives me a way to talk about emotion. Emotions are creative life energy, just like the compost that fuels the plants, and it matters to tend the soil. The same is true of your emotional, mental, and energetic garden, and of how you nurture and nourish yourself.
There is space to be the seed, still in the dark below the surface, supplied with everything it needs to push up through the soil. It all starts in the dark with believing in who you are and being okay at the stage you’re in. There will be seasons, and the cold winters may be hard. The spring will come and warm the ground and replenish the life in your roots and your trunk, so the leaves come again.
Self acceptance is a practice of presence
This is the heart of what I teach in this episode. Self acceptance and self love are practices of presence, not practices of manipulation to try to change who you are or where you are.
Your daily practices are meant to tend the sacred garden of your body, mind, and heart. That means tending your thoughts, your emotions, and your experiences. It means tending your physical body on the days when it’s easy and you’re feeling great, and also after a storm or after a cold spell. You deserve care, attention, and appreciation, and you are the primary gardener of this sacred garden that you are.
When your reflection speaks
Then the mirror shifts. Your reflection starts to speak to you with deep compassion, kindness, and acceptance of where you are. It shares appreciation for how you have navigated your life and survived every single day so far, and it tells you its favorite parts of your sense of humor and your quirks. It also names the moments when it seemed like you wouldn’t make it.
This is the part of you that sees and knows all your flaws and imperfections, and still deeply accepts and loves who you are.
I’m here. I’m on your team. I love you. I accept you exactly as you are. Everything that you think is a problem is part of what makes you who you are.
A way back in any moment
This sacred garden is inside of you, and you can come back to it in any moment, even for just a moment. To start, place one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart. Notice the rhythm of your breath and the places where your hands touch your body. Then bring your awareness to the back of your body, where your back is supported, and let your attention move from the outer world to your insides.
From there, each day is an opportunity to deepen a secure relationship with yourself by honoring your commitments to yourself, showing up for yourself, being supportive of where you are, and being kind.
A question to sit with
If you would never let anyone speak to someone you love the way you speak to yourself, what would it look like to give yourself that same love, kindness, and protection today? The full hypnosis journey is where you can feel that for yourself, with the gates, the mirror, and the old tree that hugs you back.
Listen to the wisdom teaching behind this journey here: The Intimacy of Self-Acceptance: Creating a Secure Relationship with Yourself #152
Resources Mentioned:
CHAKRA RECODE INVITATION:If you know your sensitivity is powerful and want to expand your capacity, the Ecstatic Empath Chakra Recode album includes 13 guided hypnosis journeys designed to transform your sensitivity into your superpower through self-trust, embodiment, and a deeper connection and access to your personal power.
It’s $22 at https://www.chakrarecode.com and the link is in the show notes.
EMPATH RECODE INVITATION: What if manifesting the best version of yourself requires you to trust yourself to hold more power, pleasure, and possibility?
The Empath Recode is designed to deepen self-trust, strengthen your nervous system, and deepen your intuition so you can become the authority of your own life.
In 21 days, you’ll rebuild your physical, mental, emotional, and energetic foundation and enter your unapologetic era.
Begin your Unapologetic Era – https://www.EmpathRecode.com Link is in the show notes